How accurate are horoscopes?

So I get this email today and it has all of these horoscopes in it. I look up those of my loved ones and my findings are below. As for me, I think it fairly accurate, you would have to ask my husband on some of them, but the personality traits...yeah that is me. Husbands is pretty accurate also, except he does not like to fight and he is definitley not lazy. He does enjoy a good debate (politics or something) but the rest of it is him to a T. D1, now hers is scary right. I tell you they have been in my house! These people watched my family when making these descriptions! D2 is grounded just because of the title of her horoscope. But most of it is accurate for her too! I wish these people would stop stalking us...it is kind of creeping me out. Have they been listening in on my phone calls? I think they are hiding in the mess in D1's bedroom...she is always saying she wants people to keep in her closet...they are watching us... This is me: CANCER - The Beauty MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative Person, most are artists and insane respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compareSpontaneous. Not a Fighter, But will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! This is my hubbyman: TAURUS - The Tramp Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight.Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centred and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! This is D #1: PISCES - The Partner for Life Caring and kind. Smart. Centre of attention. Messy at times and irresponsible! Smart but lazy. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. Lover of animals. VERY caring, make wonderful nurses or doctors. They always try to do the right thing sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but need to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. This is D #2: SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad awmood stay FAR ay. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones will all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.